Nicanor Garcia

Nicanor Garcia . . . He's a white dude, he is. He's been trying to leave San Antonio, Texas, for the past three and a half years. Once, Nicanor Garcia was going to move to Madrid, but someone shot him in the butt first. Nicanor Garcia tried to move to Alaska. The move was canned after some jerk filed a phony lawsuit against him, tied him up with court dates, and made him miss his flight. Nicanor Garcia has class coming out his goddamn tits.

— Fiction —

I Do Something Terrible, Liz Removes Her Underwear, & You Start Talking Dirty

Nicanor Garcia

I Do Something Terrible Say there’s a crowd. Say it! An enormous crowd. Say you are a member of that crowd, and you are obscuring completely the sidewalks beneath my hotel balcony. You are singing! Say I turn to the...