Michael Swaim

Michael Swaim is a humor writer whose work appears regularly on Cracked. He is also cofounder and head writer for the Internet sketch troupe Those Aren't Muskets!

Fiction
Congo: Land of Jungles This nest of ordered chaos has inspired numberless works of literature, from Heart of Darkness, to Apocalypse Now, to Predator II: The Book.
Fiction
Grimwald and the Dwarven Curse: A Mitch Gavelneck Fantasy by John Grisham A goblin, for Baal's sake. And an all-dwarf jury, too. Mitch grimaced and pulled his Giorgio Armani pinstripe cloak tighter about himself.
Fiction
The Lord Bellingham Letters, 1580–1610 Editor: Just as two plump and o'er-ripe pomegranates are crack'd betwixt stones for thy luncheon, in sooth I would thy balls were pummeled so.
Fiction
Gordon Ramsay Has a Quiet Family Dinner at Home The noted chef enjoys his wife's home cooking.
Fiction
Alvin & Co.
The Thoughts of a Ten-Year-Old, as Imagined by the Producers of Alvin and the Chipmunks What long-discarded premise can be plucked from the dust of antiquity, polished and refashioned into something I, an adorable tyke, will want to see again and again? One thing's for certain: it will need some references to hip-hop culture.

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