Michael Rottman

Most Tortured Pitchfork Descriptions of Singers' Voices "… like Björk if she were on a bus driven by Leslie Feist that only stopped at Ronnie Spector's smoke-filled diner."

My Writers' Strike Diary The statement is finished, polished, deadly. I have joined my fellow scribes—I didn't use that word in my statement because it's pretentious.

Phil Keoghan Shakes Things Up at the Mat Diane and Sean, you're the last team to arrive. I'm sorry to tell you that you've been eliminated from The Amazing Race. Unless, of course, you happened to bring me the hide of the fabled bronze mountain goat, so prized...

Rock, Paper, Scissors Redux A – Paper B – Rock Paper prepares to slide itself over rock, obscuring it with its Zen whiteness. Paper teases. Should paper roll on top of rock slowly? Should it flutter down from heaven? Should it wrap rock? Paper...

Karl Rove's Ringside Boasts
It ain't braggin' if you're a Republican.

The Unspoken Vasquez: James Cameron's Aliens, First Folio Excerpted from a manuscript discovered in a cedar trunk at James Cameron’s estate sale: Mark well my weapon finger, good my men,
But mark this dog my fuckfinger aloft.