Lydia Fazio Theys
Lydia Fazio Theys is an astronomer by training, a technical writer by necessity, and a creative writer by night. Born in Brooklyn, New York, she now lives in Connecticut with her husband and their two children. Two cats—one fat, the other crotchety—a neurotic Italian Greyhound, and whatever else wanders in through the cat door round out the mix. She has recently begun submitting work for publication, and her pieces can be found in slush piles across the land. She writes a regular column for the online quarterly Moondance. You can see her latest column here.
The Magician’s Assistant
Dear Ms. Theys: Thank you for your most interesting and entertaining application for the position of magician's assistant. I am sorry to say that we are unable to offer you the job because—how else can we say it?—you are... 
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