Ellie Kemper

Ellie Kemper is a woman actor and woman writer living in New York City. She was recently tripped on the sidewalk, on purpose, in the middle of a Tuesday, on 50th Street between Broadway and 7th, by a middle-aged businessman probably on his way to Lehman Brothers. She thinks that he was just having a frustrating day. Ellie is a contributor to The Onion and McSweeney's.

— Fiction —

Teri Hatcher Wants John Bolton to Know That She Once Suffered a Career Slump, Too

Ellie Kemper

Listen, I heard that you were basically fired from the United Nations. I'm really sorry. A world without John Bolton would be like a sky without sun, or a Desperate Housewives without Teri Hatcher.