David Silverman
If you see David Silverman, do not make any sudden moves. David Silverman is not dangerous, unless provoked. Do not taunt David Silverman. David Silverman wants to be your friend but only if your name begins with Q, X, or Z. That's where he has room in his address book.
An Excerpt from the Best Harlequin Romance Novel Ever
"Those are some big earrings you have," I said but I wasn't looking at her ears. "Yes, they are." "Also, breasts." She slapped me, hard, and my face stung and I wasn't sure what I'd done wrong. Her breasts were... 
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