Dan Klein
Dan Klein works as busser at the Grey Dog's Coffee in New York. This piece was based on a true story. He has written a thing on McSweeney's, contributes to The Onion, studies improvisation at the Magnet Theater, and is a member of Pangea 3000. Currently, Dan Klein is sad that his accomplishments were summed up in one sentence.
Ponce de León Attempts to Play Off Not Finding the Fountain of Youth as if the Whole Thing Had Been a Joke
Exploring is my thing. But joking around is my other thing. I'd like people to think of me as the fun conquistador. 
My One and Only
Do you remember me, Kara? I remember you. You shone with the light of 1000 halos, probably because you were standing under a lamppost.
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