Dale Dobson

A Public Message from the North American Soccer League Is Major League Baseball a harmless athletic competition--or a front, a hideous ruse designed to lure healthy young men into the sordid world of male prostitution?

MTV Books Presents: Romeo & Juliet "Shit, bro!" shouted Romeo. "Juliet Capulet is smoking hot!"

Classic Nintendo Game Secrets Tetris Few have seen the localized Japanese version, which replaced the falling blocks with fluffy kittens, mutant eggplant zombies, and irritatingly horny schoolgirls.

Notes for Jane Austen's Helter Skelter Chapter I -- The events must be universally acknowledged. A young man has taken Spahn Ranch.

Transcript: R.W.A. Secret Indoctrination Proceedings How is a bodice worn?
O'er heaving bosom, until boldly ripped, rent, or torn.
How is it torn?
Asunder! ...

Bastards of the Universe Shown briefly by Mattel at the 1988 International Toy Fair, this last-gasp line of Masters of the Universe action figures was almost immediately withdrawn from the market.

Samuel Pepys Visits the Wisconsin Dells Friday, July the 30th Today encountered unbearable traffic in the Chicago district, where labourers obstructed nearly every roadway suitable for passage, and I fear no traveller with less than half a tank of petrol may safely pass that way, except...

From Ye Drye Cleanner Lady Macbeth, I have in my possession an elegant gown which your manservant has delivered for cleaning along with your express instructions. Having devoted some hours to the task, however, I am forced to concede that the dark crimson spot...

Mutant 70s Television Hybrids From Maude & Mindy to Welcome Back, Kojak ...

Strategy Guide for Capcom's Lit Fighter II: The Word Warriors Stephen King King is a fast-moving combatant, capable of unleashing a flurry of pages from his chest-mounted typewriter. A good character to play against newbies, who will be intimidated by King's prolific output. On either side of the battle, remember...

Money-Making Secrets--Revealed!!! I made $28,000 with only ONE HOUR of work in my spare time. It was no problem at all to get started, there was absolutely no financial risk to me or my family, and the rest was so easy I...

David Sedaris Rules the World My boyfriend Hugh doesn't like serving dinner for heads of state. Catering for a large group is a difficult job, even without government officials nosing around in your kitchen, and every time Hugh caught my eye he gave me a...

King Arthur: The Syndicated Adventures 13 original episodes of hot, contemporary, youth-oriented Arthurian adventure, booking now for syndicated television markets worldwide: The Sword and the Stoners Arthur, Guinevere, and their buddies Gawain and Lancelot run into trouble on the wrong side of the moat while...

Jesus' Standup Act Little is known of the life of Christ between childhood and His later emergence as a serious public speaker. Until now, as indicated by this recently unearthed transcript: How are you folks doin' this evening? Any fishermen here? Great! I'm...

The Drug Diaries of Oscar Hammerstein II Work on "Green/Lilacs" adaptation halted unexpectedly. Lorenz Hart is dead. Dead, dead. I couldn't go to bed. Sat down for drink with Rodgers and young Lerner before remembering Hart's struggles with alcohol. Took a little marihuana to calm the nerves...

Dating with Goofus and Gallant On the phone: Goofus says, "Ma? MA! Shut up, I'm on the PHONE! Hey, is--uh--is whatshername there? The one with the big tits?" Gallant says, "Hi! How are you, hon? It's always so good to hear your voice. Say, listen,...

Summer Youth Reading List Pokémon Down! A military submarine is invaded by Pikachu and friends in Tom Clancy's first book for children.

Fast-Food Sit Down March 2, 2005 - Ronkonkoma, New York - 11:23 p.m. Subject under surveillance Ronald "Mickey D" McDonald was observed in conference with Louie "The Burger" King. One of our junior undercover agents had succeeded in flipping "The Burger" two weeks...

If the Brill Building Had Instead Housed a Law Firm You have lost, misplaced, or destroyed that loving feeling, either through negligence or accident, and that all related agreements are gone, null, void, and whoa.

Big Brass Bunny Band To the Taft Elementary Parent-Teacher Association: We have received a number of angry letters, irate phone calls and obstreperous personal-space intrusions from members of the local community expressing concern over our school library's inclusion of the popular illustrated children's book,...

David Mamet Channels Aristophanes An Old Woman picks berries from a small bush. Enter The Traveler. The Traveler: Many miles have I traveled, uh, until now, now I am not sure of where I am! Pray, tell me, woman old, uh, where the hell...

Missus Magazine

Brecht & Weill's Annie A black, empty stage. Lights up on Annie, a bruised and battered orphan girl whose cataract-stricken eyes have no visible pupils. Around her, other abandoned girls sleep fitfully on the dirty sweatshop floor as she sings

Abandoned Theme Parks SIX FLAGS OVER ALCATRAZ Built on floating platforms near the famous island prison, this ill-fated venture embarrassed its corporate parent for years after its well-deserved closure. Space limitations and surface instability prevented construction of a major rollercoaster; the park was...

Sarah Vowell Comments on Our Imagined Liaison I am twenty-two years old in 1991, which means that I am old enough to drink but not necessarily to exercise sound judgment when it comes to members of the less fair sex. Benjamin Franklin may really have believed that...

Extreme Sports, circa 1928

Internal Memo to the Secret Society Greetings and salutations, O seekers of the Inexpugnable Truth. Inductees into the Assemblies of Wisdom. Pilgrims to the Arcane Shrine on the desolate shores of you-know-where. Did you notice the phrase “you-know-where”? Did you catch that? Good. Because I can’t believe I have to bring this up, people! Tell me, what makes a secret society such a special organization to be a part of?

An Evening at the Tokyo Ballet The curtain rises on a bare stage, occupied only by a large wooden barrel upon which is mounted an enormous spigot. As the lights come up, the orchestra launches into the delicate opening phrases of composer-choreographer Ittoru Sakitaru's Ballet of the Salarymen . . .

New Adaptations for the Holiday Theatre Season DEATH OF A SNOWMAN
Downtrodden Frosty Loman runs a rubber hose from the gas to his corncob pipe.

Nice Things to Say to Chris Columbus after Seeing Rent I still really like your screenplay for Gremlins

Onstage Play-by-Play: Oklahoma! Good afternoon, theatre fans of the airwaves! This is Dick Cox bringing you all the news, up to the minute, immediately as it happens, here at the Goodspeed Opera House, where the much-anticipated opening night performance of Oklahoma! is about...