Dear Y.P.R. Archives
¡Los Bastardos Anónimos!
what the hell man you stole my internet name I am so frikin mad I am going to eat this whole bag of cheetos and cry in my closet GOD! just kinda felt the urge to search for my nick,... 
Correção (Correction)
I am Portugese, and I want to correct you "schmucks" since the translation of My Big Fat Greek Wedding was translated as "Viram-se Gregos Para Casar". So I'd Reeeeeeeeeally appreciate if you corrected the site [Y.P.R.'s Oscar Coverage 2003: "The...
Starbucks Letter Regarding Seemingly Illogical Size Nomenclature
Mr. Abraham: Pass this info along to whomever is interested. Because us Americans are such pigs, Starbucks had to add the size Venti (Italian for twenty--as in the number of ounces in the cup) to the original three sizes: short,...
Nipsey Fan Seeks Same
Dear Nick, I was reading with interest your article from October 5, 2005 ["Dear Nipsey"]. It is interesting, and I was wondering if you ever found out who the owner of this AOL Nipsey Russell fan page is. I know...
We Should Go Hat-Shopping Together Sometime, Pt. II
Hi Jimmy, Just read an acticle about your huge head ["My Huge Head," April 10, 2003]. Exactly what is the size in cm or inches? My head is 62 cm (24 inches). Just wondered if my head is large or...
We Keep Yelling "Rooster"
David Sedaris is delighted with Yankee Pot Roast.
Rapid Eye Movements
Dear Y.P.R., Seriously—that blinking Malcolm Gladwell freaks me out. Make it stop. I'm going to have trouble sleeping tonight. Yours, Brian Graham...
Huh?
From: Rebekah Hillsman Subj: Huh? O.K., so how do I send a birthday card to Christopher Walken??...
From Nairobi with Love
Geoff, Someone just e-mailed me your rather innovative letter to Lesotho, which I've pasted below to refresh your memory. Let me say plainly, despite your assertion to the contrary, that I've never touched Lesotho soil, or anyplace else on Lesotho....
It's Shauna, but Most Guys Call Me Shawna.
Well, I don't think there's any way of figuring out the spelling, because according to the (supposedly) original script (http://www.hundland.com/scripts/FerrisBuellersDayOff.txt), on page 189, it's: BOY: What's your name? JEANIE: Jean. What's yours? BOY: Garth Volbeck. And that's all these grubby...
Morons
Folks-- I’m assuming that it wasn’t ironic on the table of contents of the One-Question Interviews that you misspelled my name the other way. If it was intentional, it doesn’t work. If it wasn’t intentional, it makes you look sloppy....
Yo, Muthafuckers
Dudes! Remember me? Its like, West, from college. I accidently hit yer site when my keyboard malfunctioned whilst jackin' it to some hard core shit. Seriosuly. Anyway, I was, like looking fer a gig where i could like, get wasted...
I Named the Dog "Indiana"
subject: Your Insight Sought! Dear Yankee Pot Roast, Today, I adopted the most adorable puppy from the shelter. F.A.Q.: Heyyy now, doesn’t everyone consider their puppy/ mewing, puking infant/ genitalia the most adorable? A: I have evidence. Of the puppy’s...
Allston’s Favorite Drunk
Hi Y.P.R., Just reading your “Dear Y.P.R.” section and came across the letter from Alexis Tirado, titled “Seen and Heard in Boston.” She shows a photo in a deli window and then posts several photos of an “odd pied piper...
Who's Your Momma?
from: Robin Slick [Robin81700@aol.com] O.K., since you asked, and I’m so glad you did, I will tell you what I’ve been up to. This summer I went on tour with my rock star kids. There's a movie made about them...
A Wee Bit Sticky
My name is Frankenwurst Von Richter. My friends, of which I regretfully have none at this time, call me simply Frank. It is mainly Haileesh, the attendant at the filling station where I retrieve my sodas--which I dearly love (sodas)--who...
Marx and Engles to Spite
Today, I received an interesting present. Sitting on my piece of real estate in the biology lab was a hardcover edition of Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged.
Kim Needs to Talk
from: Kim Bosch [kbosch@uoguelph.ca] to: Y.P.R. [ypr@yankeepotroast.org] My dear Y.P.R., Can you give me $48,000 dollars? Canadian dollars? I ask only because I really need the money. You see I would like to try and go to school in N.Y.C....
Canis latrans
Dear Wile E. Coyote: I have noticed that over the years, you have ordered a lot of merchandise from the good people at the Acme corporation. You must've spent a lot of money on Acme stuff, trying to catch the...
Also Available at Any New England Truck-Stop Diner
subject: Where to buy/order??? Why not include a listing (by ZIP code or city) of what restaurants in one's area serves Yankee pot roast? I used to have it once a week at Hamburger Hamlet, in Arlington, Virginia, near Reagan...
Enquire Within
from: montessori12@aol.com subject: Wet Nurse What are the qualifications for a wet nurse? Montessori, DD's. Y.P.R. what is DD's...
We Should Go Hat-Shopping Together Sometime
from: Kent Houseman [kentdman@yahoo.com] to: Y.P.R. [ypr@yankeepotroast.org] subject: Hello. Hello, my name is Kent Houseman. This will be the weirdest e-mail you will get in a while. O.K., I read one of your articles. The one talking about the size...
?
from: Gene Morgan [genemorgan@mac.com] to: Y.P.R. [ypr@yankeepotroast.org] subject: Y.P.R., more like stupid-P.R. Hey, POT ROAST! What the hell do you think you are doing? You think you're better than me, huh? Prick. We'll just see about that. I have all...
Seen and Heard in Boston . . .
subject: Seen & Heard in Boston . . . Hey Y.P.R. Staff: I'm nervous about writing this since my grammar is all fucked up. I'm too lazy to read The Elements of Style for this e-mail! I just wanted to...
Some Things Remain Impossible, Despite the Heart's Will
from: Lonnie Futrill to: Y.P.R. [ypr@yankeepotroast.org] subject: Need your help. Am having Italian painting put in my home and need to have a sentence translated into Italian calligraphy. Can you help me please? The sentence is: "Nothing is impossible where...
Most Logical Answer Yet
from: Rob Theakston [busymofo@yahoo.com] to: Y.P.R. [ypr@yankeepotroast.org] subject: Don't know if anyone answered yet. The 'P' in Alex P. Keaton stands for Peace. Elise and Steven were both hippies in the sixties. There was one episode where they had a...
Believe It or Not, He's Really an Attorney
subject: The spelling bee story sucks and fat naked guys in the gym [Y.P.R. edits & commentary in red.] Dear Yankee-Pot Roast Crew: I visited your sight site again today in hopes of some sort of redemption. Just as like...
I ♥ Scrushy
subject: HealthSouth C.E.O. Richard M. (“Red”) Scrushy, Jason’s ditzy spouse, Shannon. Do ypu have pix of the herveys is all this true or just funny it would be very funny i hope some is true Thanx Sean Tariel...
Capricorn Rising
subject: Your Web site I happened to come across your page and read much of what you had to say. I think you are a very mean-spirited person. What you have thrown out to various people will have a way...
Let's Go Hoboken!
If Mr. Geoff Wolinetz can't find anything good about Houston, Boston, the airlines, etc., maybe he ought to try Hoboken or Lower Slobovia or crawl back into his hole in the ground where he probably would feel more at home....
It's an Honor Just to Be Read
from: Todd Piepenbrok [thechinman@ameritech.net] to:: Y.P.R. [ypr@yankeepotroast.org] subject: Best Boy Nomination Hello there, Y.P.R., I was doing the ol' Google serach on my name and found that your Web site is the second listing. You have me nominated for BEST...
We're Working on It
from: John Graves II to: Y.P.R. [ypr@yankeepotroast.org] subject: an inquiry without capitals Yankee Pot Roast, As an admirer and appreciater of your online publication I wonder if there is a printed collection of the best daily pieces. I very much...
Yum, pt. II
from: John Anderson [john.anderson1@rcn.com>] to: Y.P.R. [ypr@yankeepotroast.org] subject: Scrumptious Yankee Hey, you guys . . . I just want to thank you from the bottom of my bottom round roast for that luscious recipe. Yankee Pot Roast will live forever...
Yes, or Psoriasis
from: David Meiklejohn [SexNotProms@aol.com] to: Y.P.R. [ypr@yankeepotroast.org] subject: The P in Alex P. Keaton A friend of mine said it stands for Parkinson, but she's just insensitive. In case you're still looking, I found this Web site, and if it's...
If We Were Marvel Comics, She'd Win a No-Prize
from: Monica G. Staples [mstaples@partners.org] to:: Y.P.R. [ypr@yankeepotroast.org] subject: Birthday letter to Rachael Leigh Cook The answer could have been lobster too....
For the Record, That's Not Why We're Pissed at Ourselves
from: Mike and Julie Kronen [unme2@comcast.net] to:: Y.P.R. [ypr@yankeepotroast.org] subject: Skin Project Aren't you all cool?!? Someone comes up with a creative venue of expression and it seems you all are more pissed at yourselves for not thinking of it...
Pot Roast Is for Lovers
from: Garry [Gmansduc@aol.com] to: Y.P.R. [ypr@yankeepotroast.org] Hello, Y.P.R., my name is Garry (36), was looking for a good pot roast. Found. Whoever wrote the recipe is a true romantic and won me over....
Happy Birthday, Senator Kefauver
Dear Y.P.R., Can I call you Y.P.R.? I would have written, but I'm too poor to buy a stamp. Besides, being a Web site, electronic mail seems more appropriate. But I digress. Y.P.R., in a way we grew up together....
Horseshit.
You made me laugh today, I thought it couldn't be done. Thank you. Yours, Michelle Orange...
Re: My Afternoon
Dear Y.P.R. Editors, There are some days in a person's life that go down in the record books. March 13, 1991, was just that for yours truly. Fresh from cutting out of 8th-period gym class, the minutes seemed like seconds...
Semper Fi
from: Brandon Waller [wallerbm@yahoo.com] subject: What a laugh. Thank you, Y.P.R. I think the site is great and look forward to reading it each day. Even in my current state of depression, I am able to laugh and enjoy. For...
Y.P.R. welcomes reader mail. Please address thoughts, responses, criticism, and love notes to ypr@yankeepotroast.org. Letters published may be edited for clarity, civility, and accuracy.
For over 150 years, Speaker's Corner has been one of London's unique attractions. On any given Sunday morning, anyone who has an opinion to air—or who simply wants to listen—will gather at the point where Oxford Street and Hyde Park meet, in the shadows of Marble Arch, and carry on an oral tradition that is becoming somewhat lost to a modern culture of electronic mail and chat rooms. Y.P.R. recognizes the need for commentary regarding society, life in the new global economy, chicken wings, ball bearings, or anything else that may strike one's fancy. So put on your Sunday best, clear your throat, step up onto the soapbox and speak up!
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