Fruit Salad Archives
Perhaps There Is Life on This Planet
I have returned, albeit briefly, to my desk job at this Somewhat Less Major Media Company. It is April now, though the weather hardly portrays the month that I have come to know over my years here. The harsh,... 
Inside the Actor's Studio
My acting credentials are well known. If you need convincing, please go to the library and pick up the nearest copy of Pickle This! In addition to being one of the finer works to be produced about traveling theater...
Results
Recently, and in accordance with the court's ruling, I was subjected to a rigorous psychological examination. The examination, conducted by the Bellevue Hospital facility, was a three-day procedure set to evaluate my mental competencies in several areas. Dr. Alexander...
A Time to Laugh, a Time to Cry
The coming week will be a difficult one. For next week, I was to have celebrated, along with millions of others, the birthday of a dear friend who passed away some weeks ago. I am to spend the weekend...
A Star Is Born
The sun shines brightly on this crisp winter morning. It is cold, but not arctic, and I can walk without the gloves that were a gift to me from former Screen Actors Guild president Richard Masur. I mean no offense...
Appeal to the U.S. Government
J.E. Carter Jr. c/o White House 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. NW Washington, D.C., 20500 February 6, 1977 Dear Mr. President, First, let me congratulate you on your ascension to the presidency of the United States. As you know from my...
You Like Me, You Really Like
The public thirsts for knowledge of me. With all that I provide for them of my exploits, it is still not enough. They demand more. My life has been analyzed several hundred times. Different angles, slants and points of...
It Will Always Be Burma to Me
In the deep days of my puissant youth, I was an accomplished stage actor. As I have detailed in Pickle This!, my presence on the stage is not only commanding, it is also at times commanded. I was four when...
You Cannot Love All the People All the Time
Those of you that know and follow my work, follow me, or just know of the depth of my talent in all arenas of my life know that I am full of love for all creatures. My Mammalia Mayhem...
Letter of Resignation
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep / But I've got promises to keep / And miles to go before I sleep / And miles to go before I sleep." -- Robert Frost It is not easy bidding adieu to...
Only Time
Days turn into weeks, weeks into months, and soon I have lost all track of time. It has been quite some time since I have regaled you with tales of my life, accomplished as it is. In the time of...
Out of My Cold, Dead Hands
The hot breeze whips through the tall buildings of the city that never sleeps. I weave in and out of the worker bees on their way to their dull jobs to complement their dull lives and am quickly reminded...
Dust in the Wind
The ethereal words from a rock group known only as Kansas. Other than rocking the strings off of their guitars with their seminal hit, "Carry On Wayward Son," Kansas addresses the ephemeral nature of our existence in their classic, "Dust...
Begin the Begin
My life story is a long and lustrous one to tell, much like Hunter Tylo's hair on that Pantene commercial. The intricate details of my youth are not often paid attention to, and while obviously exceptional, lack the certain je...
Correspondence
In the late 1970s, I enjoyed a brief rise to fame as photographer of the stars. With my reputation as an immortal wordsmith already cemented, I sought to expand my talent and scope as an internationally appreciated personality. Naturally, photography...
And the Beat Goes On
Ah, yes. Those all too prophetic words off the pen of the late Sonny Bono and out of the mouth of his lovely (albeit now scary) ex-wife Cherilyn LaPierre (a.k.a. Cher). I say the beat goes on because, despite all...
Today I Play Hooky
A curse on you, Major Media Company. Today I take advantage of my "sick" days. Today I stay home, despite having no major malady to concern myself with. My right knee, no longer throbbing and swollen, bends at my command....
Ask Not for Whom the Bell Tolls . . .
"For whom the bell tolls? Why, dear sir, it tolls for thee." This is what I am told as I disembark from my small twin-propeller plane in Agua Del Piedro, Spain. It is here that I have arrived for...
The Real World Awaits
Of course, I speak not of the transcendent reality series started by MTV some 11 years ago, which I spoke feverishly and fervently for at a benefit for the Museum of Television and Radio. (R.I.P., Pedro, mourn you ’til...
Critics, Shmritics
I think The Chicago Chronicle once called me, "extraneous and not quite sane." I recall that The Washington Post called my writing, "jubilant and puissant." I read that The Los Angeles Times mentioned, "Wolinetz has the extraordinary gift of...
Cheese, Glorious Cheese
As I've stated many times over, I am a man of extreme empathy. As I have no serious personal problems other than my numerous run-ins with the law and my on again, off again bouts with venereal disease, it is...
Those Were the Salad Days, although These Are Good, Too
I woke up this morning, in my spacious three-bedroom apartment on the Upper West Side, groggy from a night of alcohol-soaked sleep. I was reminded of my younger days, those days that I spent in an Off Off Broadway...
Monday Morning Lament
Once again, another Monday morning besieges my semi-consciousness, like the semi-colon besieges the work of an inexperienced journalist. My hazy, polluted head seeks to reclaim its legendary lucidity from a weekend of malaise. I gaze at the bookshelf, off...
Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza
It is a difficult task to upset me so deeply that I become enraged. In fact, many people approach me daily to about my open-mindedness and acceptance of those who are clearly inferior to me. They are correct. I am...
Untitled Again
The bright sun penetrates the hazy New York day. The look and feel of the summer sky remind me all too vividly of my grandmother's cataracts and I shudder, despite the heat. The mercury reads 98. Well, not so much...
Untitled
I sit, once again behind my desk at a major media company, my face tender and red from the penetrating ultraviolet rays of that star which functions as our giver of life, and I am morose. No, not morose. I...
Untitled Post
As I sit here once again behind my desk at a major media company, my injured right knee emits a dull throb as it has for the last 8 days. I pray for relief and it comes in the...
I Am Going to Die Alone
A Spiritual Essay "Call you me fair? That fair again unsay." (A Midsummer Night's Dream Act I, Scene 1) I am going to die alone. Most active, virile, puissant men of roughly my age and build seem to be pairing...
The Succulent Cantaloupe
People ask me all the time, "Geoff, as a smart, sophisticated, funny, deliciously handsome, well-read, well-spoken man, why would you choose fruit salad? Why not something more complicated, something that more represents the true nature of your being?" I...
And on that Note, Let's Cue the Music . . .
As I sit here behind my desk at a major media company, my right leg laying prostrate in an immobilizing brace due to a knee injury incurred a week prior, I can not help but laugh. Are there not more...
Geoff Wolinetz is an award-winning novelist and essayist, a veteran character actor, a brown belt in Tae-bo, an honorary British knight, and an accomplished trombonist. Yankee Pot Roast is very proud to host Fruit Salad, a semi-frequent bloggy account of his affairs. In addition, Y.P.R. will present some noted critics' reviews of G.W.'s posts, to further explore the Wolinetz enigma.
[Entries are posted in reverse-chronological order--most recent up top, most distant way down bottom of the last archived page. Readers searching for a narrative are encouraged to start at the end and read backward. Readers who are comforted by the unyielding, indescriminate forces of entropy can begin at the top, or anywhere else. Ah, entropy.]
Fruit salad, a perfect complement to Yankee pot roast.
Enjoy.
This page is an archive of recent entries in the Fruit Salad category.
Disquieting Modern Trends is the previous category.
Letter from the Editors is the next category.
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