Daily Garfield® Digest Archives

Table For Two (Morons) Putting aside the egregious health code violation ...
Hide, Seek Jon attempts to play hide and seek with Garfield. He has fun, the cat doesn't....
Paging David Blaine... Right now, the operations department is desperately trying to get Jim Davis on the horn. The people need to know what actually transpired in today's strip. In one panel, there's a cookie and Jon is politely offering to share it...
Don't Smell the Kraut Inhaling vapors of leftover sauerkraut has the same creepy morphing effect on Jon as would a gasp of the mutagenic atmosphere of Mars in Total Recall. Garfield is unfazed by his master's disfigurement....
Comedy Gold Jon suspects that the fruitcake he received from Mrs. Feeney is the same fruitcake that she sent last year, which he threw away.
Pity, Indeed Jon stands beneath mistletoe (apparently awaiting a kiss from either his cat or dog?).
Looking a Gift Horse in the Mouth The dimwitted dog tries the pull-my-finger routine on the mean, lazy cat.
He Knows When You Are Confused and Disappointed Jim Davis just doesn't care about anything at all anymore.
What a Turkey The human catches the cat attempting to steal the turkey. These antics delight 260 million readers worldwide every day. Four percent of the planet. They love it....
As the Pizza Turns ... Jon calls for a pizza.
Of Course the Fat Cat Wants Pizza, You Maroon Jon is seen holding the phone and then asking who wants pizza. Sign of stupidity number one--hello, Jon! Why don't you ask if they want the pizza first and then pick up the phone. Why waste your time waiting for...
Is This Shit Supposed to Be Funny? The dog tells Garfield to go away. Garfield does. Are you kidding me?...
The Dog Should Have Killed Garfield The cat plays on the fragile psyche of a self-described "mean" dog. The cat revels in his own "meanness." I die a little inside....
32°F or Jon's IQ: Which Is Higher? The fish is missing and Garfield is next to the fishbowl. Where on Earth could the fish possibly be? Don't worry. Rather than leaving it to the scholars to debate this Holmesian mystery, Jim Davis solves it for us. Thank...
And Funky Winkerbean Languishes in Obscurity We're not sure what's more disturbing: the fact that this obese cat can take down an entire hamburger in one quick bite or that Jim Davis is still getting paid real American dollars to have this slapdash, idiotic piece of...
Staring into the Abyss The owner, who appears to have less and less to live for with each passing day, waxes aloud about his seemingly interminable day. The cat, whose laziness is surpassed only by his disdain for his human counterpart, suggests that the...
Crap in Three Panels, for Almost Three Decades Bro, this Jon dude is so totally whack....
Adventures in Primatology Jon kisses a monkey, lets his tongue aerate as his dumb dog does....
Jim Davis's First Dick Joke After stalking the cute perfume tester at the mall, Jon is sprayed with Eau de Sauerkraut, which, as the cat points out, goes well with wieners. (Get it? Wieners!)...
Macho Nacho Jon ingests huge quantities of nachos to impress a girl who works in a bowling alley. Sadder than it is nauseating....
This Comic Strip Depresses the Shit out of Me Jon, desparate for any living attention, tells his pet of the cute girl he met at the supermarket. Sad, I know. Sadder still: the cat only cares whether its master bought doughnuts. I bet the supermarket checkout girl didn't even...
Dog Licks Cone & Cat With one literal tongue lashing, the stupid dog licks all the wicked cat's ice cream. And fur....
Get It? Because He Ate the Bird Jon spots a single, yellow feather. "Is that a canary feather?" he asks. Garfield says, "Not anymore." This is supposedly hilarious....
Some Things Are Best Left Unsaid Jon dates a mime, reiterates his date's choking/gagging gestures for his pet....
The Horror! The Horror! Good God! What the hell is going on in the Arbuckle household? This little slice into their domestic affairs leaves litte wonder as to why Jon never gets laid and Garfield is such a fat unfeeling bastard. Not to mention,...
Punting Odie, Pointing at All of Us Cat kicks dog off table, blames world cruelty....
Pavlov Is Shuffling in His Urn Garfield begins salivating at the ring of a doorbell. When Jon presents the pizza delivered, Garfield's wet himself with anticipatory spittle....
This One Really Sucks Jon is chillin' in the backyard's inflatable pool, sipping from a glass of ice water. Garfield, perspiring, sucks so hard on the drinking straw of Jon's beverage that the poolwater is sucked up through Jon's pores and, somehow, into the...
Curiosity Killed Something Else Jon thinks cats are curious. Garfield demonstrates that he isn't....
The Cat Lies The cat explains that, to the human's untrained eye, resting might look like nothing. But it's different....
Justify My Love Jesus Christ, this cat is at it again? He's been lying on his f@#K%ng back all week. Now he's waxing philosphical about how overrated standing on your feet is. Someone put this lazy son of a bitch out of his...
Beware the Dust Mites As Garfield slips further and further into depression, John takes it as a display of his social ineptitude. Garfield lies prone, letting his melancholy eat away at his soul. John does not hug the cat or ask what he can...
Nappy Cat In today's adventure, our plump protagonist muses on the origin of the nap. While he discloses that he is not directly responsible for its genesis, he does reassure his devoted followers that he did indeed have a hand (or should...
Perhaps the Other End Is a Garfield Phone Jon sets a milestone: 200 rings on the other end of an unanswered phone....
Jon Arbuckle and the Spiders from Mars O.K., you ready? Figure out this humdinger: Jon ponders, "Who knows? Maybe there are beings on other planets." And Garfield think-replies, "Yeah . . . Chickens would be nice," bearing some nefarious-looking fangs. What the fuck? This makes zero sense....
Raining Cats Jon blames Garfield for everything except the weather, but Garfield wants to assume blame for that too. Presumably there's humor somewhere?...
Following the Letter of the Law, but Not the Spirit The simple human instructs the wicked cat not to kick the retarded dog. Cat slaps dog instead....
Dork Calling Orson The dork calls for a pizza. By way of handwritten oak-tag sign, the cat instructs him to order something larger than large, and calls him a dork in the process. The dork cannot recognize a direct address without a comma,...
Timber? A tree falls and almost hits Garfield. It lands on Jon instead, probably killing him. What the fuck? How is this funny?...
Jon Looks Hungover (Stubble, Droopy Eyes) but Garfield Guesses Correctly That the Putz Was Out Late Because He Got Lost You know, this strip used to be intentionally vague when it presented human-feline interaction, cleverly sidestepping the issue of whether Jon could "hear" Garfield's thought balloons. I think Jim Davis has just given up....
"Meow." The cat displays its first ever bit of feline behavior, purring for its master. The cat then admits that its contrived mew was, indeed, sappy....
Little Mouse Feet A mouse questions the cat regarding the whereabouts of his slippers. The cat ate them, but swiftly regurgitates the rodent's footware, amazingly whole....
Cruelty to Animals The mongoloid mongrel fetches a ball; the wicked tabby did not want it back....
Happy Cat The ubiquitous kitty is seen reveling in his message of hope, of dreams fulfilled. When pushed further by his mildly retarded owner, the feline reveals the context: a shopping list of food!...
The Cat Smiles The gluttonous cat exhibits a Cheshirelike inability to drop his creepy grin, even for a second. It is because he consumed his master's last doughnut....
Cat Nap The blissful, open-mouthed vapidity of the dog, combined with the goofy ineptitude of his mentally disabled owner, causes the cat to rhetorically ask if there's any wonder why he chooses to spend three-fourths of his day asleep....
Schrödinger's Call The cat dials the local pizzeria and attempts to confound his mentally disabled owner by pretending the pizza dispatcher has called and wishes to speak to him....
Bet There's a Half-Eaten Bag Stuffed under the Cat's Bed The person points out that they've reached the penultimate bag of potato chips, which is, as the cat astutely points out, unfortunate and strange. Indeed....
Standing and Delivering The awkward human wishes to be alone. The cat offers to stand guard....
dailygarfieldbox.jpg

A Concise Summary of Three Panels for Readers On-the-Go

Y.P.R. reads, absorbs, and recapitulates the salient details of the day's episode, in which the wry feline's twin sins of sloth and gluttony duke it out. Oh, that crazy cat. Delightful.

El Gato Gordo
Read today's unabridged Garfield.

Y.P.R.'s Garfield coverage is in no way affiliated with, or even tacitly condoned by, the official comic strip "written and drawn by" Jim Davis, owned by Paws, Inc., and distributed by Universal Press Syndicate.

 

Syndicate

RSD | RSS I | RSS II | Atøm | Spanish

 

 

Shop
Bea!
Support

 

Submit

 

Submit

 

From the Y.P.aRchives

 

Fun, Fickle Fiction (for Free!)
Fact, Opinion, Essay, & Review
Poetry & Lyric
Advice, How To, & Self-Help
Listicles

 

Spectacular Features, Calendrical Happenings, Media Gadflies
Media Gadflies
Calendrical Happenings
The Book Club
Roasts

 

Semi-Frequent Columns
Letter from the Editors
Disquieting Modern Trends

 

Interviews
Interviews with Interviewers
One-Question Interviews

 

Correspondence (Letters To and Letters From) Letters from Y.P.R. Letters to Y.P.R. Birthday Cards to Celebrities

 

The Y.P.aRt Gallery Illustrious Illustration Photography Photomontage Graphic Design Logo Gallery

 

Pop Stars in Hotel Rooms Shreek of the Week of the Day What's Up with That? Fuit Salad Nick's Guff Vermont Girl The M_methicist Daily Garfield Digest Polish Facts: An Antidote to the Polish Joke

 

New & Noteworthy Et Cetera, Et Cetera, Et Cetera

 

Contributors' Notes

 

The Y.P.aRchives

This journal is powered by Movable Typo 5.02.

Crockpot!
© MMIII—MMVIII,
Y.P.R. & Co.