Angela Genusa

LeBron James, from an Interview in the March 2005 Issue of GQ and the King James Bible Here he cometh, a 6’9”, 240-pound man-child, wearing a black Nike skullcap, a white T-shirt, and baggy shorts. For if there cometh unto your assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel, and there come in also a...

Kurt Cobain's Ghost with an Invitation to a Fourth of July Picnic and Fireworks Come as you are. Load up on guns and bring your friends. Come out and play. Take out your clothes. Spring is here again—reproductive glands. Take your time, hurry up. Choice is yours—don’t be late. I'm so excited I can't...

Morrissey Addresses the Graduating High-School Class of 2005 You are repressed, but you're remarkably dressed. Is it real? And you're always busy, really busy, busy, busy. The rain falls hard on a humdrum town; this town has dragged you down ...

Extremely Long and Incredibly Bad Writer's Block My name is Oskar Schell, I am nine years old, I am obsessed with encyclopedic trivia and I have writer’s block. One potato kugel, two potato kugel, three potato kugel, four. I could have a googolplex potatoes. A googol to...

A Day in My Life as Reviewed by Rolling Stone The day begins with Genusa’s take on the classic getting out of bed, which is beyond belief on every level. She staggers to the coffee pot, to the tune of “Blister in the Sun.” Jesus, talk about a buzzkill. Caffeine,...

Airbag Warnings Never sit less than 10 inches from the steering wheel because if the airbag inflates, you may be injured, up to, and including, decapitation. The air bag is not a pillow, or a toy, and must be kept out of...