Andrew Sheivachman

Andrew Sheivachman is a pathological underachiever. His hobbies include insomnia, reading Proust as conspicuously as possible in public, and deifying David Foster Wallace. He once quoted Tolstoy in casual conversation with his mother and will never live it down. His writing has been described as boring, masturbatory, and wordy; it cannot be found elsewhere. He often feels like a real jerkosaurus.

— Listicles —

Numerous Events That Should Be Included in the Film Adaptation of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in Order to Widen Its Urban Appeal

Andrew Sheivachman

Instead of mourning for godfather Sirius Black, Harry should spill a forty in his dead homie's honor. Quidditch should be dropped as Hogwarts’ official school sport; perhaps And-1's roster of notorious 'Playaz' could be employed to hasten the conversion to...