Amy Shearn

The Most Excellent () and Lamentable () Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet, Told Entirely in Emoticons :) + :( . . .

The New Harry Potter Book, as Dictated by My Boss, Brian Schmutto O.K., so we got Voldemort, right, the Death Eaters, you got that part already, right? What do you mean? Haven't you been listening? O.K., fine, so Voldemort and the death eaters and the Dementors, terrorizing London, yada yada. Make it sound really good, really creepy.

Molly Bloom Takes Manhattan Yes because he never did a thing like that before as ask to have a Pierre Deux basket for breakfast all those croissants and little jams Perrier like we did with that bat Mrs Riordan when shed meet us...

Truth Is Beauty It will come as no surprise to the more acute among our readers that President George W. Bush, at times given over to unfortunate inarticulateness, in fact follows in a formidable tradition of stuttering bards, from Cervantes to Lewis Carroll.

Checkmate, Checkpoint! —a deleted scene— page 41 jay: Excuse me for a second, I’ve got to take a dump. ben: Sure. jay: No, I’m kidding. ben: I see. jay: No, kidding again. I really got to go, man. ben: O.K. jay:...

The Pope and the Lawyer: What Befell Them upon Entering Heaven or: Herman Melville Tells a Joke.

‘My Poem’ by Karl Malone “People don't know this about me, but I've changed since I moved out here to L.A., to Newport Beach. I've become a writer, thanks to my mom. I'll sometimes spend hours just writing, writing, writing. I'll be at the...

Pop Quiz & Why You Should Be Friends with Me Pop Quiz Which of the following quotations come from How to Make Your Marriage Exciting, from Ron Schara’s Minnesota Fishing Guide, or can be attributed to Chairman Mao Tse-Tung? The Bible says “Love is not arrogant or rude.” How rude...

Commands My Dog Hasn’t Yet Learned down sauté roll over* left hook drop it French braid crochet rake the leaves handstand heel cogitate defrost make nachos * But almost!...